Face It: Men Are Trolls
Just Watch Them Troll This Piece
A lot of white men on Medium were #triggered by a piece I recently wrote in which I asked them to do more listening and less talking. It’s not surprising to me that many of them did the opposite and flocked to my comments section not only to deny the factual realities of women’s oppression, but also just to generally troll me. I was called a hypocrite, a misandrist and a racist (against white people LOL). I was labeled a pathetic and desperate keyboard warrior. One dude told me that if I was going to get men to buy into the idea that I am a fully fledged human worthy of basic dignity and respect, I should try asking them nicely. (This is so hilarious it would make a great article for The Onion.) Another man gleefully told me that men would continue to “rule the world” and give me plenty of material to write about. The best part is they don’t seem to see the irony in all this — their behavior only further served to prove my point. It also gave me the idea of this piece. So, I guess some thanks are in order after all.
I started to think more deeply about the phenomenon of online trolling and how it seems disproportionately leveled at women who dare to speak on a public platform, particularly those who are politicians and self-described feminists. At the start of my writing, this was just an anecdotal observation on my part — admittedly, one I think should be obvious to anyone with eyeballs — but as a former academic and in anticipation of calls to “show the proof,” I wanted to see what the media and communications research shows. And let’s just say, the evidence is pretty overwhelming. Things have gotten so bad that The White House launched a Task Force to Address Online Harassment and Abuse earlier this year, with its experts noting that online harassment and abuse disproportionately impacts women, girls — especially women and girls of color — and LGBTQIA+ individuals, with the impact ranging from “abuse, psychological distress and negative health impacts, to self-censorship, disruptions to education and economic loss, as well as experiences of physical and sexual violence.”
A few years ago, a study published by the Journal of Computers in Human Behavior also found that men are more likely to be internet trolls than women because they show higher levels of narcissism. And other research synthesized by The Carnegie Endowment for International Peace discovered that this trolling is indeed more pronounced for female political leaders, particularly if theyare highly visible in the media and/or speak out on feminist issues. They are trolled more often than male politicians, and men are more likely to be the perpetrators of said trolling, creating a hostile working environment that not only affects their ability to effectively do their jobs, but also their willingness to stay in the political field. In effect, this landscape works to silence women.
What I found even more interesting, however, is the exploration into why men do what they do. I know all those out in the manosphere will hate to hear it, but it’s the patriarchy that strikes again! Men’s greater narcissism can be explained in the research as the result of gender stereotyping, where men are socialized and rewarded for characteristics like competitiveness, assertiveness and dominance, while women are generally socially punished for these traits. When men use social media, studies show that they do it to seek attention, exaggerate their personal importance and are generally not concerned with prosocial outcomes (i.e forming and maintaining relationships and connections). Rather, they more often use these platforms for cyberbullying and trolling as an attempt to exert power.
Women, on the other hand, are shown to use social media for prosocial reasons — they have more Facebook friends, are more likely to use it for keeping up with folks and engaging in online family activities. Because women tend to define themselves in terms of their relationships with others and a sense of community and collaboration (often called “relational self-construal”), they tend to use these platforms to emphasize their connectedness with others rather than for self-promotion or harassment.
So what’s to be done about this sorry state of affairs? I propose two things:
- Women: Don’t Be Deterred — Keep Raising Your Voices
Another lovely commenter of mine said “white women dominate the conversation” more so than white men in “so many spheres.” Aside from this claim being patently false (as evidenced by the above research), it shines a light on something important. The proliferation of social media has allowed women to be heard on levels that they’ve never been able to before — it’s a movement toward parity, but men see it as “domination” because they’re used to their voices being the only ones that get amplified. Furthermore, women are often talking about their negative experiences with men and are seeking to not only find solidarity with other women, but hold those men and the institutions that protect them accountable. It stands to reason that some of the beneficiaries of those very institutions would feel threatened.
2. Men: Learn the ABCs of Empathy
The research suggests that low empathy is a common trait of narcissists; however, it does not mean that they have an inability to empathize altogether. As such, they theoretically could be taught how to do so in order to reduce the amount of cyberbullying and trolling they perpetrate. Other studies have shown that ‘anyone’ may become a troll in the right context, which also suggests that we may be able to examine and work to change those environments to emphasize prosocial behavior and empathy.
How we go about doing the teaching/changing is the tricky part, as it often requires buy-in from men, like going to therapy or reading books about other folks’ experience. Without that, the options become more limited. It’s possible that workplaces could implement empathy training as part of regular and required DE&I curricula. Men who have already mastered the empathy game could also contribute to the reduction of online trolling and misogyny by reaching out to their friends and followers on social media and IRL. They could talk about the tangible benefits that higher levels of empathy can have in the pursuit and maintenance of romantic relationships, to decrease loneliness and more. (And let’s be real, it also wouldn’t hurt if we were able to change the nature of politics to one that is less ‘violent capitalist horserace’ and more ‘working for the public good,’ but that’s a long shot considering we have a bunch of nutters running around right now celebrating an 82-year old man almost being bludgeoned to death.)
The bottom line is, I don’t know if and when things will change. Maybe I’m delusional to hold out hope, but for me, there is no other option. I will let my hope shape my future, and I will keep writing.
It’s one of the only weapons I’ve got.
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